Love is fluid and takes many forms. There are also some tell tale signs to determine the way you communicate in love and how you like or love to be loved. Mind you that partnering and love are not mutually exclusive such as love and sex are two completely different things. We all partner, love, and have sex for a variety of reasons. That's another blog, for another time.
There is a book you may already be familiar with, 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman from 1992 that speaks of the various love languages. Below is my brief synopsis of those languages. I am going to reflect this weekend on a few more of my own preferred ways in which I feel loved as I think breaking bread / sharing a meal or experience, travel, and having one's own private language are my favorite ways to love but of course are offshoots of Gary's "originally" defined languages.
I believe we are here to love, heal, keep it real and always be our best selves in service of love, humanity, and connection.
Valentine's Day is a great reminder of the LOVE and abundance in the world. However be mindful that love is and can be triggering for some people. Yes the illusive and ever giving four letter word can still shock, twist, turn and hurt those however - rejection of love can be an egoic illusion as love is bountiful, beautiful, and will always be there.
The sequence below is my personal ranking of love languages ~ which I also believe can change over time or depending on which partner you're with. However, we're always with ourselves first and foremost. How do you love yourself the most?
Quality Time - time and undivided attention are important to you. The interesting bit about time - ruled by Chronos / Saturn is that time can mean different things to different people. We all have different concepts of time. However for those with this as their primary love language, it's required that their partners be present, attentive and respectful to one's time such as being on time, being wholly present and really honing in on the connection sans distractions. This is my favorite but I also selfishly think it leads to ALL of the love languages and who doesn't love some love on love on love?! It's the gateway for me.
Words of Affirmation - do you talk up yourself and your partner? If so words of affirmation may be your love language. Praising, encouraging and uplifting are the name of the game here. Sweet nothings in the ear may rocket jolt you to the moon. This is an encouraging expression that fires up the underbelly and let's your lovers / partners know that they are loved and supported. Talk dirty to me... this interchanges with quality time when I can't physically be with my partner.
Physical Touch - some lovers express themselves physically and being able to cuddle, caress and even hold hands gives those the most utmost sense of love and satisfaction. This is not necessarily related to sex, but rather intimacy. It's not transactional or disconnected. It's pure, joyous and grounding to hold your partner close. Even a brush on the arm or graze of the hand can be comforting to those with physical touch as their love language.
Receiving Gifts - sometimes confused with Acts of Service, this love language applies to tokens of affection that are thoughtfully curated and given not for showy displays, but with real actual thought behind the gesture. This is also not a materialistic way to the heart. It's heartfelt. It lets the recipient know they are treasured. The attention and kindness bestowed here really defines what makes a person a keeper for some.
Acts of Service - do you have a deeply renowned sense of satisfaction and love when you thoughtfully go out of your way to do little things for your partner? This could be mundane items such as picking up groceries, folding laundry or grabbing the morning beverages simply out of sheer love. This is an action oriented language. All of the love languages are as love IS a verb... however this one is oriented in a series of continually completing tasks.
Did you learn something new? You can also take the love language quiz here if you'd like to learn more!
And remember you may have different love languages than your partner(s) so it's important to learn about yourself and your lovers so that you can connect and speak the same language.
Happy hearts day lovers!
Keep on keepin' on & loving one another.